My True Story #No55

"There’s times where I’ve been suicidal and low and felt like there’s no one who understands me at all." - Shivani

"So for years I’ve been suffering with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, it has caused a lot of issues in my life. I was 7 years old when I was showing signs of suffering from schizophrenia everyday was a battle for me.

I had more tests at 13 and during that time my voices and hallucinations got worse, I was officially diagnosed at 13 years old with schizophrenia and Borderline personality disorder.

There’s times where I’ve been suicidal and low and felt like there’s no one who understands me at all.

It's been a hard thing to cope with over the years, it felt like I was trapped in a bubble of darkness and voices that only wanted to cause harm to me for years, it’s like someone else is controlling you and you’re the puppet.. it was so tough.

It’s hard sometimes still dealing on a daily basis with the constant voices and hallucinations and trying to defer from real life to what’s an delusion.

I’ve now come to a point where I’m happier because I’ve understood how to control it and who is actually around for me.

I started taking new meds, doing therapy and took up poetry it helped me escape big time, I learnt to manage my stress, I focus on my emotions instead of react to my impulses that tend to be self harming, music is also something I find happiness in and take myself out of this scary world in my head and music takes me somewhere I wanna be. 

I’ve been helping other people who have been suffering with mental health and showing them they don’t have to be alone and encouraging people to vent to me about they’re darkest times."

True Story told by @rsammathura