My True Story #No4

"I ‘managed’ it. But it also managed me. I had to plan for this anxiety although I never knew when it would make an appearance..." - Natalie

That One Pic

"This freckle filled face doesn’t look anxious. It doesn’t look like I’ve struggled with anxiety or been hit so hard with crippling thoughts about public transport it threatens to unravel me.

This is Me Winning

"So this is my face and this is me winning. I hope next time you get on a train, instead of anger and frustration at your daily commute, you feel thankful that your mind and body allow you to visit these places..."

I have no fear of people. Those who know me will know how true this statement is. I’m a ‘social butterfly’ and a ‘happy ray of sunshine’ .. and while I wear those badges with honour, I’d like to take a minute to big myself up.

This time last year, I planned to make a 40 minute journey into London, and left two hours before I was due to. Why? Because I knew the amount of stops it would take me before I HAD to get off the train.

I ‘Managed’ It. But It Also Managed Me.

I had to plan for this anxiety although I never knew when it would make an appearance, and it’s been a big part of my life for a long period of time.

Especially in the last year, I have realised that I am shutting off my life, tube stop by tube stop, train line by train line, until all that will be left is a small square that I call home.

Comforting as it sounds to my anxiety, for me, that is just not possible. I have too much to see, and now have too many important people in my life, to miss out on ANY of theirs. I have a job which will only become more exciting for me and the more people I can help the further I span.

So this is my face and this is me winning.

I hope next time you get on a train, instead of anger and frustration at your daily commute, you feel thankful that your mind and body allow you to visit these places.

Thank you to those that smiled at me today, don’t forget to flash your pearly whites to people on the tube, especially after a hard day.. and be kind to others, always.

NOW time to enjoy London while I’m here!"