My True Story #No79
“ I got bandied around Doctors with numerous diagnoses before I had a breakdown at 19 and finally got diagnosed with bipolar disorder...” - Kat
”The earliest memory I have of just feeling hopeless was coming home from an amazing evening with my family for my 9th birthday. I had all on the outside, my family are amazing, living, but I'd go through periods of pure elation, hyperactivity, non-stop energy, and then, as soon as it started, I would slump again. Just sitting in silence in my room for hours on end doing nothing. Feeling lost and hopeless for no reason, and the purest form of loss and emptiness would take hold. I periodically went through suicidal thoughts, and just thought I was a freak. I felt scared to say anything because my family were amazing, I had some good friends, and I was a good achiever. I felt like a failure for existing. I got bandied around Doctors with numerous diagnoses before I had a breakdown at 19 and finally got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. After I did some reading, it suddenly all made sense. I'm not saying my life was amazingly different and perfect after the diagnosis, but it gave me and my family some understanding. Although I managed to get my degree, my masters, and get a job as a lecturer, there are days when I almost can't face sleeping, let alone getting up in the morning, floating between anxiety, hyper and hypo mania, insomnia, and just emptiness on the bad days. I now lecture in a range of health topics, including an intense mental health module, and although I'm not at the point where I'd feel comfortable telling my students my story, I can help to contextualise it to them and help with understanding what mental health looks like.
It's not always the typical telly depiction - sometimes, it's putting on some sparkles, a forced smile and making it through the day. One step at a time.”
True story told by @Inkededucator