My True Story #No57
"Six months before this photo was taken, I had a terrible “accident” where, drunk and feeling at complete rock bottom, I “fell” 40ft off a bridge onto wasteland...." - Nina
"I shattered my coccyx, had several fractures to my pelvis and damaged the lower part of my vertebrae. (As much as I love fitness now I still experience the repercussions of this accident over 2 years later).
I knew as I fell that this wasn’t something I wanted to do but the truth is I would never have been in the situation to fall if I wasn’t terribly lost as a person and in a very toxic relationship that made me feel like a worthless human that no one would miss anyway.
Fast forward 6 months and I’d just got out of that really toxic relationship which entail “broke my heart”. It wasn’t me who decided to end it. I had ploughed all my energy in for months and months to try and keep the light on in the relationship.
Looking back with a clear head I can see how desperately unhappy I was with everything and how I told myself on a daily basis that I deserve to be treated like utter crap or like an outcast or a bad smell because I was "in love”. It sends actual shivers through my body at the thought of me ever wanting to have been in such a shit place!
Ironically though, this was among one of the first photos on my new Instagram and I did it with the inner belief that my ex would “see it” and “want me back” ..... girls we’ve all been there!
I love this picture but I can see myself in the face of a melody of mental health issues that were surrounding me and I can see how I was doing everything to push through it. I can also see how far I’d already come in just six months after being physically broken lying in a hospital bed.
I like the way I look here but at the same time I can see I’d dropped a lot of weight and I can genuinely see sadness behind my eyes. At this time in my life smiling was unknown in-front of a camera but now - I won’t upload a picture without me smiling!" - Nina Martin