My True Story #No43
“People would often compliment my figure, express their jealousy towards me, tell me I was lucky and I’d just respond with a false ‘thanks’. It was all a farce... I didn’t feel good, I didn’t want to be there at all.” - @driventohappiness
“I hadn’t eaten for two days in this pic. I’d locked myself in a dark room and wouldn’t come out after finding out my boyfriend had been cheating on me. My friends eventually managed to talk me in to going out and I spent the next three days not sleeping, binge drinking and taking a cocktail of drugs whilst selling them to other people so I could pay for my own habits.
This wasn’t just my way to get over my heartbreak, this was my life. Look pretty, get fucked.
People would often compliment my figure, express their jealousy towards me, tell me I was lucky and I’d just respond with a false ‘thanks’. It was all a farce... I didn’t feel good, I didn’t want to be there at all.
I kept up this act for 13 years... obsessed with how I looked, my hair, my face, my body, my weight. Beyond the layers, beyond the bleach, fake tan, makeup, stuck on eyelashes, hair extensions and acrylic nails - I never felt good enough.
Growing up had been very challenging. I was bullied at school and home life was even harder. I never really took the time to sit with how I really felt about this. Instead, I left home at 16 and I destroyed myself every single weekend as a way to escape my reality. I put on an act to find connection with others in anyway I could.
The harsh reality is that this is how many girls go on to live their life. Seeking approval from others, covering themselves in layers of fake aesthetics to feel ‘good’ and consuming dangerous amounts of substances in order to have a ‘good’ time.
Was I having a good time back then? Nah. I convinced myself I was. I convinced everyone else I was. It was all one big, pretty faced lie.
Choosing to face my shit, speaking my truth, doing the healing work and embracing the REAL me is the best thing I ever did. Now I show up for myself and my health - no one else.”
True Story told by @driventohappiness