• UOKHun HQ

My True Story #No1

Updated: Sep 4, 2019

"It's harder than I thought to do this...yet so important to do it." - Chloe, Founder @UOkHun

"It's so important. I feel so strongly about this issue I could burst. I'm scared in fact. I'm scared for the future, scared for my (hopefully future) kids, scared for my friends kids, scared for my nieces and generally scared for my own mates. We're all sucked in aren't we? We scroll through our social pages believing subconsciously what we see. I'm sorry but it's mostly bollox and it's about time we started sharing some honesty. Otherwise, we are all competing for this weird state of 'happiness' that just isn't reachable. It's not real. Why don't we start using social media for something more productive and help each other? Life can be sh*t sometimes - let's just be honest about it and be there for one-another..."



So many of you are emailing in with your own true stories which is absolutely FANTASTIC (thank you all so much!) but you're all asking the same question - how does this work? Well, I figured the best way to answer that, was to show you.

So here we go. I started this group/community/topic and I'd be a hypocrite if I asked something of you all that I didn't have the balls to do myself. So here it is..



That One Pic

That one pic was taken in Ibiza. My husband took it, and the 2/2 is a shot of him. There is a reason why we didn't get one together.

The holiday pictures look fun - we look like we had a great time, ate beautiful food, sailed on a beautiful yacht and (more importantly) got awesome tans. I look pretty happy in that picture right?

Well, literally 20 minutes after taking that shot, we sat down for dinner and discussed how to proceed with our divorce.


I Believed My Own Bullsh*t

He turned to me and said "No Chlo, that post was chatting sh*t...". And then it just sort of clicked. I realised I was comparing my own current life to my own false history. A version of a life I wanted the world to see, but that wasn't even real. I actually believed my own bullsh*t.

What did it for me, what sort of woke me up, was in a counselling session. He told the lady, he said "We've been unhappy for about two years now..."


I turned to him confused and said "What are you talking about? My TimeHop literally just showed me a picture THIS MORNING from a post a year ago of us kissing and a nice message I had written to you underneath it, so frankly, you're chatting sh*t."


And then he turned to me and said "No Chlo, that post was chatting shit.."


The reality was we hadn't kissed in over two years.



And That Was It


I realised then, in that moment, that I was sitting in front of this woman - paying her to give me answers, paying her to tell me where it all went wrong and why, why had our marriage so suddenly fallen apart when really, it had been a heap of rubble for years. It wasn't that it had suddenly fallen apart at all. I was just too busy looking back at my own version of history, the version I had wanted the world to see to see through my own bullsh*t. I couldn't remember anymore. I honestly couldn't remember what was real and what wasn't.


The Danger


What scares me is, why? Why did I do that? Why did I hide the struggle so much even from my own friends? What has that done? All I would do is look through Insta or Facebook and think 'awww she looks so thin!' or 'wow they look like such an amazing couple..' or 'you can tell he loves her you can see it in the way he's looking at her..'.


WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK!! [current mentality]


I thought these things and then felt bad. I would compare everyone to myself. But compare what? Compare their versions of only what they wanted their reality to be? How dangerous is that...just think about that for a moment...


It's so important. I feel so strongly about this issue I could burst. I'm scared in fact. I'm scared for the future, scared for my (hopefully future) kids, scared for my friends kids, scared for my nieces and generally scared for my own mates. We're all sucked in aren't we? We scroll through our social pages believing subconsciously what we see. I'm sorry but it's mostly bollox and it's about time we started sharing some honesty. Otherwise, we are all competing for this weird state of 'happiness' that just isn't reachable. It's not real. Why don't we start using social media for something more productive and help each other?

Life can be sh*t sometimes - let's just be honest about it and be there for one-another.


But Seriously U OK Hun?


I too laughed at the #uokhun memes. I too searched the # on Twitter. But something bothers me deeply about the tone of the hashtag. Doesn't it just completely undermine the idea of female empowerment? It's sarcastic, it's patronising and frankly it's damn rude. You know what? No #ImNotOkHun



Congratulations


If you've reached the end of this post, a round of applause for you!

I hope you hear and feel the cause behind UOkHun and join us on our mission. Just imagine if you could come to the page, see what look like amazing pics and then read the truth behind them. Slowly, bit by bit, together, we might just be able to help shift the way we use social media, the way we see social media, not just for our own mental heath, but for the sanity of the future too.


It's not an easy thing to do. It's taken me a long pace around my garden talking to myself (not weird at all) to build up the courage.

But the more of us do it, the more of us unite, build confidence in others to open up and share the same message. That it's OK to say #ImNotOkHun


Happy sharing guys!

Love,

Chloe

xx

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